John R. McClarren - Writer/Military Consultant

Here is the introduction to HEY, IT WASN'T MY FAULT:

HEY, IT WASN’T MY FAULT!

Introduction

                    You may well recall one of my favorite comedians of all time, the late John Belushi and the role he played as Jake Blues, in The Blues Brothers. There was a classic scene when Jake and his brother, Elroy, were escaping the police from their concert and met up with Jake’s old girlfriend, whom he had stood up at their intended wedding ceremony. She, in her celibacy, with three hundred guests and family, had waited for him to show, and he never did. She informed him that for the good of her mother, her father, the rest of her family and for the good of mankind she would have to kill him and his brother.

She was armed with an M-16-rifle, set on full-automatic, and proceeded to open fire on them in the tunnel. After all of the shooting, neither of them having been hit, Jake looked up at her with his incredibly fake, sensitive expression and began his fantastic monologue, part of which I will have to paraphrase. “Baby, you know I love you. It’s good to see you, Sweetheart. You know it wasn’t my fault! I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn’t have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners! An old friend of mine came to town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn’t my fault! I swear to God!” She, of course, melted into his arms, they kissed, he dropped her into the mud, and he and Elroy quickly departed, continuing their run from the police. It had to have been the best scene of   “It wasn’t my fault.” in the history of film making.

Ask anyone behind bars if he or she was guilty of the crime for which they were convicted. Those who do not claim that they were innocent, will probably respond, “Hey, it wasn’t my fault!” Am I right? Why on earth would we ever want to claim responsibility for our actions when denial works so much better? Denial has always worked perfectly well for me, and I really do not think that I am alone out here. You love that response; otherwise, you would never have opened this book in the first place, right? Go ahead; deny it. You were just a little curious. Cool; I can accept that.

I am quite sure that all who read this book will be able to identify with much, if not all of it. Although a large part of what I relate to you within these pages is from my own personal experiences, I do depict others who have inspired me by having gone through their own calamities or other humorous escapades, for which one can frequently only shake his or her head, or perhaps burst out into hysterical laughter. Some of these occasions are just circumstances for which I and others have had no control, or we just happened to be in the wrong places at the wrong times. Some people may even have a tendency to blame us for some of these strange things that happen to us, but we know better. It was never our fault!

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By the time you finish this book you will probably not believe that one person could possibly have gone through so many bizarre events as I have without being at least a hundred and fifty years old. There are times when I do feel that I have lived that long, but honestly, it has been a great life with all of the things, good and bad, that have happened to me. Nothing in my own life has happened to me for which I can not be thankful, because it has contributed to making me who I am today, and that is not entirely bad. Some of those things may have seemed awfully bad when they happened, but it is all a matter of attitude and how you react to things that will determine how bad those things really have been for you.

Think about some of the things that have happened to you in the past that you feel were really terrible. What were your reactions to those events? Did you consider some of them to be lessons learned? Did you consider yourself a real loser as a result of those events? What did you do with all of those invaluable lessons learned? If you have not put them to good use, you have wasted a good bit of your life. Then again it is never too late to begin. Always consider the bad things in life to have had a purpose behind them, most of the time just to help you grow into the person you really want to be. It has worked well for me, and I am quite sure it can work for just about anyone. It is also called by some “the power of positive thinking”.

I will in the coming pages begin to elaborate upon the vast array of incidents and bizarre experiences that I have encountered, some seemingly, but none actually, having been my fault. I will cover my own life from birth to the present, and incidents involving others within that time frame. You will be both amazed and amused by some of the things that have happened to me, and some of my readers may not even believe everything they read here. Follow me through this wonderful journey of fantasy and denial, leading to a life of fulfillment and pleasure, knowing that I have never made any mistakes in life nor been at fault for anything. It is indeed a beautiful trip in which all can participate. It can become a part of your own life. Let go of all those guilt trips, relax and enjoy this book, and, of course, the rest of your life.